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With the former Chancellor of the Exchequer, Kenneth Clarke, once again easing himself onto the creaking bench of frontline politics, and Alistair Darling riding the economy like a big dipper, you may well ask when Britain will get its female Chancellor.
When we find a woman with the right eyebrows for the job, what’s when. For, when it comes to holding the nation’s purse strings, we seem to prefer people who aren’t already holding tweezers.
Look at the evidence: Dennis Healey could balance popcorn on his; Norman Lamont’s had sharper points than Miss Whiplash’s stilettos; Alistair Darling stole his off Groucho Marx and Gladstone’s thundered across his face like rain clouds. Of the 126 female MPs currently in Parliament, not a single one of them has the facial foliage needed to secure a position at Number 11. Harriet Harman, Yvette Cooper and Caroline Spelman cannot compete. They are brow beaten.
Of course, the Prime Minister can trim, tweezer and thread as much as he or she likes – just look at Thatcher’s thin little browlets, or Blair’s shapely browlings for evidence – but if you want to get a handle on the big red budget box, then it appears you’ll need to cultivate a stonking pair of eyebrows in order to do it.
Even if that means rubbing on Baby Bio and hoping for the best.
Nell Frizzell
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