OMG you guys, I have just found the most amazing way to make some money.
Basically, you just put your passport, one of your kidneys, your house keys (labelled with the address), your bank statement and some real human hair in to an envelope, address it to Gold For Fools and within a week they will post real, genuine gold money nuggets back to you! To your house! And no salesman will call. It’s amazing! I saw an advert for it on television.
Personally, I am going to melt my money nugget down and have it made in to a pair of hoop earrings with ‘Waysta’ written inside each one. If I send off a lung I might even get enough money nuggets to make an entire set of gold buttons for my new mohair cardigan, too.
I might see if my mum has any broken, used, or unwanted housing deeds or lungs lying around the house that she might want to get turned in to gold money nuggets. That way we might be able to make some super metallic accessories for the party season – they will really set off my new little black dress. She doesn’t even use her lungs very much anyway.
You see, gold is simply timeless. From Coco Chanel to Gucci, from Alexander Wang to Hannah Martin, from Vivienne Westwood to Driers Van Norten; gold never gets old. It’s just like, standard.