If you were looking for in an in-depth, well researched, thought provoking article about military policy in Afghanistan (who laid the minefield that killed the member of Household Cavalry Regiment in early October this year?), political hypocrisy (we celebrate Nelson Mandela, and propose a vote to extend the period terror suspects are held without charge), [...]
Some are born dancers, some admire dancers and some have dancing thrust upon them by a sweating, catsuit-clad, mad eyed banshee.
Thumbs for Hire is one such banshee. I love dancing. I love it more than dogs love lampposts.
But apparently, dancing isn’t just a careless jitter in the jungle, oh no. Dancing a serious business, especially [...]
I like to think that in two hundred years, when the methane-guzzling, twenty-stone, teflon-coated children of the future are learning about what we lived on in October 2008, they will believe that we got all our nutrients, vitamins and minerals from these chunks of supernatural joy:
Although I like a good shot of powdered egg and Naafi tea as much as the next man (and the next man is Lloyd George), I didn’t actually live through The War. I never really knew the privations of the 1940s, when you have to weave your own butter out of horse hair and junket. [...]
Because I’ve got about 250 cubic cm of the stuff hanging off my window ledge and last time I checked it was October.
I am displeased with this, not because I hate snow, of course. As it goes, I think snow is fine, as long as it’s kept away from bored thirteen year old boys and [...]
I love tea like Rocky loves Apollo Creed.
It may have knocked me about in the past but I know, ultimately, that if I’m in trouble, tea will be there to get me through the montage and bring me back to top form.
While we’re talking of Rocky and Apollo Creed, can I just take this moment [...]
On Sunday I trundled up the hill to Alexandra Palace to get hugged by a fifty five year old Indian lady who has given more hugs than you’ve had hot, cold, takeaway, free or late dinners.
Her name is Amma and she is something of a saint.
I mean, anyone who can hug people continually for up [...]
You can go and tell Michael Phelps, Ray Mears and David Blaine that it’s time for them to renew their Blockbuster membership, buy a bumper packet of eclairs and settle down for the winter because there’s a new tough guy in town.
Yup, dolphin boy, the ginger swinger and the git wizard might as well just [...]
Here is a discovery that is bound to bring joy into the hearts of lonely fourteen year olds across the land.
According to that old cad the Diogenes of Sinope, the Greek God Pan was taught the divine art of masturbation by his father, the god Hermes. That’s right – masturbation is, according to Greek legend [...]
There are some things that you never knew you needed until you they are there in your hands.
My £3.49 padded C3PO suit, to fit ages 11-12, was one such item.
Who would have thought that the Age Concern of Weymouth could produce such a marvel from its Halloween loins?
Of course, I never bothered to watch Star [...]