I appear to be on a one-woman mission to make every young actor hate me…
I don’t understand the appeal of strip clubs.
Ejaculating orange notes for two foot-smelling, badly-carpeted hours, just to watch a woman in bum floss, out of reach, jiggle around to chart hits. Call me old fashioned, but for less money and less [...]
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That’s right. I dressed up as The King. In my garden. And yes, I will never be as handsome as Presley.
See more at http://goppeldangers.tumblr.com/
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This one took about four minutes. But three of them were spent trying to find enough necklaces.
See more at goppeldangers.tumblr.com.
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On Saturday me and my rather tall, rather fit, rather well-equipped-with-a-brand-new-bike friend John decided to cycle to Hastings. I was, needless to say, dressed like a lumpy orthopaedic nurse with a semi-ancient bike originally built for a 6′3″ manbloke.
Things were going fine until ‘Royal’ Tunbridge Wells. I say fine – I was most definitely holding [...]
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Last night I bought 99p worth of wheat puffs from an international supermarket on the Lea Bridge Road. Then I bought £1.29 of popping corn. As the corn popped I poured the puffs onto little sheets of cling film and sellotaped them into the shape of a thatched cottage.
To try and cover up my evidently [...]
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This took about six minutes in total
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Here’s my latest IdeasTap theatre column. Nice illustration isn’t it?
The likelihood of me getting married is just a nudge below Michael Gove getting his tits pierced.
Were I to slide my arse down the luge of matrimony into the inevitable wedgie of married life, however, I can’t imagine that I’d choose to do so in a [...]
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Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Here’s an article I wrote for Vice about all the lovely Hasidim in my neighbourhood and their giant cars…
Two types of people drive big cars in Upper Clapton; drug dealers and Hasidic jews.
While the former tend to have large, raised, black Chryslers and Cayennes, the latter are usually seen revving and clunking around the streets [...]
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Oh okay, not a play or anything. This is an article I wrote for the National Theatre blog for their big new scarlet pop-up space The Shed. They very kindly invited me to come in and watch rehearsals for the opening show, Rufus Norris and Tanya Ronder’s domestic drama Table. So here’s what happened….
Walking into [...]
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