Let me first say this; I love old Juliette Brioche.
I mean, I really love her. If you’d asked me a couple of months ago I probably would have said “God, I could just watch her for hours. Give me Juliette Binoche, in a nice outfit, and I’m happy. Throw in a silver fox, some beautiful [...]
Call me childish, suspicious and lewd, but I have just read the Wikipedia page on revolvers and the whole thing seems to have been web optimised by a horny thirteen year old boy with more screens than pubic hairs.
In the first two paragraphs alone I found references to ‘cock’, ‘pull back’, ‘pump action’, ’self-cocking’, ‘one [...]
Here is my latest column for Ideas Tap. I cannot urge you enough to visit their website.
As anyone who’s ever tried to cop off in the toilets of the Louvre can tell you, sex and art can be a heady, if uncomfortable, combination.
While theatre, sculpture, painting and music all give it a bash, the art [...]
Darrell Rivers looked at herself in the glass. It was almost time to start for the train, but there was just a minute to see how she looked in her new school uniform.
‘It’s jolly nice,’ said Darrell, turning herself about. ‘Brown coat, brown hat, orange ribbon, and a brown tunic underneath with an orange belt. [...]
Now those poor Chilean miners have to try and sort out Plan B’s accent.
Benjamin Paul Ballance-Drew, to give him to full title, got trapped several months ago in a strong estuary accent after two hundred tonnes of critical attention collapsed over his performance in ‘Harry Brown’ and his 2006 album Who Needs Actions When You’ve [...]
According to my new Cameron model for baby-naming – place conceived + flower + place born – I would be called…
Clapham Hogweed Tooting
A fine name.
Nell Frizzell
Well, paint my legs and call me grandma, I’m a columnist! Those lovely, generous and wildly optimistic people over at Ideas Tap have made me their entertainment columnist!
I have never been so pleased, nervous and surprised.
Here is my latest column. You can read it in situ, as well as find out about all their amazing [...]
For just £4.70, you could hold the whole spectrum of mortality in your hand.
There’s nothing like some beef-stuffed rice pastry to put the spring in my sausage, if you know what I mean. Especially when it comes with a side order of oven chips and the recommendations of a horny chef.
And who can forget the [...]
As I have no doubt mentioned before, I write a regular column for a fashion and workwear trade magazine. This is my most recent piece:
If eyes are windows to the soul, then goggles, glasses and masks must surely be the curtains. Or perhaps the Venetian blinds to the soul. Or maybe even soul shutters.
“Remind me to hairspray my face when we get off, to stop my make-up from running. I don’t want to do it on here in case someone’s got asthma.’
I should have known, at this point, that V Festival was going to be different. The girl sitting across from me on the train had re-applied her [...]